Old News & League History

The 2025 Champion Addresses the League

Dear LFSP,

As the 2026 season gets underway, I felt it was important to address a few misconceptions.

First: yes, I am still the champion.

Second: yes, I am still the Commissioner's Wife.

Third: before anyone starts making jokes about nepotism, favoritism, or league corruption, I would like to remind everyone that I won the fucking championship.

You all had 17 weeks to stop me.

You failed.

So naturally, I entered Week 1 with the confidence of someone who has absolutely nothing left to prove.

And then I started Jordan Addison.

He scored 0.0 points.

This, unfortunately, means I owe the league a shotgun.

But let the record show: I still won by 36 points.

That is not a mistake.

That is dominance with a minor administrative issue.

Meanwhile, Alan Costanzi named his entire franchise after Colston Loveland and was rewarded with a 0.0-point performance and a 36-point ass beating.

Andy Nguyen started Kyle Pitts, scored 142 points, won his matchup...

…and still had to shotgun a beer.

This league is beautiful.

As for the rest of you:

Tanner is already talking like he's discovered fantasy football.

Tony is almost certainly preparing a trade that benefits Tony.

Stephen thinks he's the favorite.

Jeff has apparently decided to chase last place and accidentally won.

Chad nearly shotgunned both his kicker AND defense, which is an impressive level of commitment to the cause.

And Chris is still the Commissioner, despite the fact that I am clearly the most qualified person in this league to hold public office.

But don't worry.

I won't let Week 1 distract me from the larger mission.

The 2025 championship remains mine.

The crown remains on my head.

The trophy remains in my possession.

And the rest of you remain approximately 36 points away from doing anything about it.

Good luck in Week 2.

You're going to need it.

— Courtney Stevens

2025 LFSP Champion
Commissioner's Wife
Shotgun Recipient, Week 1
Still Won by 36