The Shotgun Tracker (a.k.a. Goose!)
The original rule, straight from the league bylaws: start a player who finishes with 0 points or fewer, and you owe the league a shotgunned beer — filmed, sent to the group before kickoff of the next week's games. Kickers, defenses, and empty lineup slots all count.
Week 7: Pay Up
Ted Hurst III, WR proj 8.4Clean through Week 4, now at two beers. Started a Bucs receiver in a 43-13 blowout and he did not register a stat. Nico Collins added 1.6 for flavor. Still won by 27 because Courtney scored 69.
DeVonta Smith, WR proj 0.0Projected for zero. Scored zero. ESPN told him. He started him anyway, and won by 18 with the top score of the week. Welcome to the club, Andrew. Only Brett and Jeff are still clean.
Close Calls — Sober By Inches (Week 7)
Jaylin Noel, WR
Dominic Zvada, K
Juwan Johnson, TEJalen Coker, WRNico Collins, WRChris Stevens started Juwan Johnson again after last week's zero and got 1.2. Learning nothing, slowly. Tony scored 62.9 with nobody under 2 and nobody over 15, which is its own kind of achievement.
Shotgun Leaderboard
Through Week 7. Everything through Week 6 is paid, including Courtney's two empty slots — league ruling: an empty lineup spot counts.
| Beers | Owner | Team | Owed |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Courtney Stevens | All Gas No Drakes | — |
| 2 | Alan Costanzi | Sacrificial Lamb | — |
| 2 | Chad Acevedo | Bass To Mouth | — |
| 2 | Tanner Darrell | Dart Side of The Beer Mile | — |
| 2 | Chris Stevens | Rashee-d For Speed | — |
| 2 | Tony Dapontes | Achane Reaction | — |
| 2 | Chris Slagh | Myers Diggs Type GFYS | 1 owed |
| 1 | Andy Nguyen | Nguyenning | — |
| 1 | Stephen Liao | Javaris Jamarr Javarison-Lamar | — |
| 1 | Andrew Wendt | Dakstreets Back, Alright! | 1 owed |
| 0 | Brett Pinholster | The McGriddle Stack | — |
| 0 | Jeff Marsicano | Chasing Last Place | — |
Hall of Shame
Every shotgun this season, worst first.
| Pts | Player | Owner | Wk |
|---|---|---|---|
| -0.66 |  Tyler Shough | Tony | 5 |
| -0.12 |  Jaguars D/ST | Chad | 6 |
| -0.1 | DJ Moore | Tanner | 2 |
| 0.0 | Roman Wilson | Tony | 5 |
| 0.0 | Brian Thomas Jr. | Chris Slagh | 5 |
| 0.0 | Empty FLEX (x2) | Courtney | 5 |
| 0.0 | Colston Loveland | Alan | 1 |
| 0.0 | Kyle Pitts Sr. | Andy | 1 |
| 0.0 | Jordan Addison | Courtney | 1 |
| 0.0 | Marvin Harrison Jr. | Chad | 2 |
| 0.0 | Kenny Sadiq | Stephen | 4 |
| 0.0 | Rashee Rice | Chris Stevens | 4 |
| 0.0 |  Quinshon Judkins | Alan | 6 |
| 0.0 | Cam Skattebo | Tanner | 6 |
| 0.0 | Juwan Johnson | Chris Stevens | 6 |
| 0.0 | Ted Hurst III | Chris Slagh | 7 |
| 0.0 | DeVonta Smith | Andrew Wendt | 7 |
Past Weeks
Chris Slagh (Ted Hurst III, 0.0) and Andrew Wendt (DeVonta Smith, 0.0, projected 0.0). Close: Noel 0.7, Zvada 1.0, Johnson 1.2, Coker 1.4, Collins 1.6.
Chad's Jaguars D/ST went −0.12 and Chad won by 38 anyway. Tanner's Cam Skattebo got 0 yards while Tuten covered with 22.7. Alan's Quinshon Judkins was projected for 12 and delivered 0. Chris Stevens's Juwan Johnson caught nothing. Close: Najee Harris 0.2, Mark Andrews 0.9, Aubrey 1.0, Marshawn Lloyd 1.0.
The week that broke the tracker. Tony started Tyler Shough, who threw two picks for −0.66, the worst score in league history, and Roman Wilson on IR for a flat zero. Two beers, first of the year, both in one afternoon. Chris Slagh finally broke his streak with Brian Thomas Jr., 0 catches for 0 yards. And Courtney left both flex spots empty — not injured, not on bye, empty — two dashes scoring 0.0 each on the way to a 98-point loss. Two shotguns, both paid. League ruling: nothing counts as nobody. Close: Harvey 0.7, Fannin 0.9, Concepcion 1.0, Montgomery 1.1, Tate 1.1, Hockenson 1.2.
Chris Stevens started Rashee Rice, the guy his team is named after, and got 0 catches for 0 yards. Alan did the same thing in Week 1 — naming your team after a player is now statistically a death sentence. Stephen also started Kenny Sadiq at TE for a clean 0.0. Close: Kincaid 1.2, Washington 1.5, Barkley 1.5, Schultz 1.9.
The one clean week. Tony came closest with Jadarian Price at 0.7, then followed it up with Achane at 1.7 and Carlson at 2.0 in an 80-point loss. Close: Price 0.7, Smack 1.0, Shakir 1.1, Thomas 1.3, Ferguson 1.4.
Tanner's DJ Moore posted the first negative score of the year at −0.1 with 0 catches. Chad's Marvin Harrison Jr. went 0 for 0 for a flat zero. Close: Nabers 0.6, Loveland 0.8, Reed 0.9, Goedert 0.9, Singletary 0.9, Dicker 1.0.
Alan (Colston Loveland, 0.0), Andy (Kyle Pitts Sr., 0.0), Courtney (Jordan Addison, 0.0). Close: Texans D/ST 0.42, Mevis 1.0, Aubrey 1.0, Browns D/ST 1.2, Ferguson 1.6.
The rule: any player in your starting lineup who finishes with 0 points or fewer earns you one shotgun. Bye weeks, injuries, and "I forgot" all count. Kickers and defenses count. An empty lineup spot counts. Bench doesn't save you, it just makes it worse.
Updated through Week 7. Paid/unpaid status is maintained by the Shotgun Czar and updated here each week — see League HQ for the admin process.