Chris Stevens · Commissioner
The Season So FarCommissioner Chris Stevens's Rashee-d For Speed has dropped two straight, a 109.08-to-137.06 loss to Nguyenning in Week 7 following the Week 6 loss to Dart Side of The Beer Mile. The team slid from the 4–2 logjam to 4–3.
The numbers underneath still look good: 851.32 points for and only 760.64 against, the lowest points allowed total in the league. The record is running behind the roster, which is a better problem than the reverse.
A 27.98-point loss to first place Nguyenning. The Commissioner's team scored 109.08, an average week, in a game that required a great one.
Next opponent: Achane Reaction (Tony Dapontes), away
Projected total: PROJECTION 105.6 projected vs. 93.2
Keys to victory: Take the win against a 1–6 team and stop the skid. Rashee-d is a modest favorite by about 12 points.
Potential upset scenario: Achane Reaction scored 62.90 last week. It would have to find 40 more points to get there.
Playoff outlook: A win would put the team back at 5–3 and back in the conversation.
ANALYST PREDICTION (satire)
G.R.I.D. 9000 reminds the Commissioner that the rulebook has no section on skid prevention.
Expert AssessmentChampionship Outlook is data-informed. The remaining three indicators are satirical editorial scores.
