Chad Acevedo · "Not The Commissioner's Wife"
The Season So FarChad Acevedo's Bass To Mouth lost at home to Sacrificial Lamb, 123.74 to 135.92, in Week 7. That is a loss to a team that came in 1–5, and it drops the third highest scoring team in the league to 3–4.
At 890.00 points for, Bass To Mouth has scored more than every team except Javaris and Nguyenning and has the record of a team that does not. The scoring says the team is fine. The standings say otherwise.
A 12.18-point home loss to Alan Costanzi's Sacrificial Lamb, who scored 135.92 for the second win of its season. The score was 123.74, and it was good enough to win most weeks.
Next opponent: Myers Diggs Type GFYS (Chris Slagh), home
Projected total: PROJECTION 122.3 projected vs. 85.3
Keys to victory: Handle the projection. Bass To Mouth is a 37-point favorite, a bounce-back spot that is hard to blow.
Potential upset scenario: Myers Diggs would need a second straight week of defense and no help from the opposing lineup.
Playoff outlook: A win keeps the team within reach of the pack at 4–4.
ANALYST PREDICTION (satire)
G.R.I.D. 9000 says 'the numbers keep saying fine' and then pauses.
Expert AssessmentChampionship Outlook is data-informed. The remaining three indicators are satirical editorial scores.
