Projections below are model-generated forecasts based on season-long scoring rates, recent trend, and matchup context. They are not guarantees. Last week's column called four of six winners. The two misses were Sacrificial Lamb at Dart Side and All Gas No Drakes at Dakstreets, and the model would like to note that it did not know Tanner would win with a negative quarterback.

Dart Side of The Beer Mile at Bass To Mouth
119.2 – 128.2

Tanner starts a quarterback who scored −1.9 and may do it again. Chad has Drake Maye, who scored 24.96 last week. The model gives Bass To Mouth a 9-point edge and Tanner a plan.

Myers Diggs Type GFYS at Dakstreets Back, Alright!
127.5 – 112.9

Upset alert. Dakstreets has won two straight and scored 132 and 153. Slagh is a projected 14.6-point favorite and has started three zeros this season. Pick your poison.

Sacrificial Lamb at Nguyenning
121.0 – 144.6

Nguyenning scored 185 last week. Alan scored 87. The model sees a 23.6-point gap and a lamb.

All Gas No Drakes at Chasing Last Place
119.7 – 121.3

The closest game of the week by 0.1 points. Courtney is on a four-game skid. Jeff scored 85.50 last week. Pick a coin.

The McGriddle Stack at Achane Reaction
122.2 – 112.5

Brett scored 84.90 last week and Tony scored 100.76. The model would like to remind everyone that this is the 1–7 team and that a 9.7-point favorite has lost before.

Javaris Jamarr Javarison-Lamar at Rashee-d For Speed
124.8 – 126.4

The second-place game, projected by 1.6 points. The Commissioner is at home, which in this league means nothing and everything.

Projections are forecasts, not results. Nothing above should be read as a guarantee, and this model accepts no responsibility for lineup decisions made in its name.